


twisted

by epiphanylies



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Heaven's Arena Arc (Hunter X Hunter), POV Third Person, Timeline What Timeline, Tragic Romance, hisoka is kinda a bitch as always, kurapika is best boy, leorio and reader become besties, mayhaps there will be a sequel, reader is a badass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:06:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24782020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epiphanylies/pseuds/epiphanylies
Summary: (y/n) had always been within the darkness. pain and suffering had become her only companions. her past breathes down her neck and refuses to let go. when she travels to heaven's arena, she doesn't expect meeting and starting an unlikely relationship with a certain magician. when they meet in a darkened hallway one night, and he asks her to fight, she has no idea the events that will unfold from there. she can only hope he won't be the death of her.-I'm bad at summaries oops-
Relationships: Hisoka (Hunter X Hunter)/Original Character(s), Hisoka (Hunter x Hunter)/Original Female Character(s), Hisoka (Hunter x Hunter)/Reader
Comments: 51
Kudos: 211





	1. Prologue: Two Snakes

**Author's Note:**

> hiiiiii, I hope someone enjoys this lmao. I am almost done the hxh anime and I've fallen in love with it. I've had this idea for a while and it just wouldn't get out of my head so here you go. this is my first fic on this site and first fic regarding Hisoka so sorry if it's ooc. there isn't a lot of canon content in this story either, most of it is just ideas I had that I thought were cool lmao. also sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes. this is just the prologue regarding the reader's backstory!! new chapters will be posted soon for sure.

The bandits swept through the town like a plague. Fire and bullets rained down amongst the screams. It was brutal. At first, the residents of the small, undefended village believed that these men simply wanted money and valuables. People held out their most prized possessions to them - a rusty silver ring, porcelain plates bought in the next country over, spare change made by selling iron and copper scraps- only for them to be kicked to the side, laying in the dirty streets. As the bandits began grabbing the children of the village and running into the trees spanning into an endless forest, the wailing of heartbroken mothers could be heard. A realization hit every person at that moment.

They were there to take the children. To abduct them from their homes and families without thinking twice.

(y/n) and her little brother were wrapped up under the covers of their shared bed, the mattress thrown haphazardly on the ground in the corner of their small hut. There was nowhere to hide. His small whimpers could be heard over the noise as he buried his face into his sister's shoulder. She hugged him as hard as possible in her frail arms but could not bring herself to say  _ “it’s okay, everything will be alright” _ . A sinking feeling enveloped her. It was only a matter of time before they found them. And there was only so much a ten year old girl, only trained in cooking and cleaning could do against an enemy. She prayed to whatever god was listening that maybe- just maybe they would be okay. The prayers were short-lived.

The door to the house opened so harshly it was almost knocked off of its hinges. (y/n) held her brother tight as a man with a black scarf tied around his nose and mouth loomed above them. The two siblings shut their eyes tightly. Another man entered the house and (y/n) listened intently to their conversation while running every scenario through her head. Perhaps they could run. She could kick them both and drag her brother through the streets without looking back. But it was impossible. With their father still working in the mines, there was absolutely no hope. 

“Just take the boy,” The man at the door said to the other. He wore a matching scarf to cover his face.

“Why not the girl?”

“Too old, Boss only wants them really young. It’s easier that way.” The man above the bed nodded at the others’ words. Then he wrapped his strong arms around the young boy and pulled him from (y/n)’s grasp. She let out a scream and threw herself on the man trying to latch onto her brother once again.  _ He’s only six _ , she wanted to say.  _ There’s still so much I need to teach him _ . But instead, only sobs fell from her mouth. The other man guarding the door pried her away and threw her to the ground. Then the two men, dressed in black fled through the door, back into the chaos, carrying her brother with them. His small screams and cries echoed through (y/n)’s heart. It broke her.

So she got up. Dusted off her knees. Ignored the blood running down her face from when her head hit the floor. She grit her teeth and began running after them. She let the heaviness in her heart guide her as she dodged the bodies and possessions in the street to chase after her brother. Not knowing what would be awaiting her when she finally caught up.


	2. Watching From Afar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hisoka finds himself at heaven's arena once again and is not surprisingly- bored with all his opponents. there is one person who has caught his eye though, and she seems to be hiding behind a false name and a black scarf. she's annoyingly teasing and frankly, it's pissing him off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally the first chapter! this is written from hisoka's pov (I tried my best lol). also the reader has a nickname but just consider it a persona that will become more important later on. I hope you enjoy!! (ps. machi is best girl I luv her)

Hisoka never found himself too interested in the other fighters in Heaven’s Arena. He knew he would win against them anyway, so he didn’t really see the point. There were not many notable people here this time around. Not like the last time he climbed the tower, eagerly watching Gon and Killua progress and master Nen at an alarming rate. The fight with Gon was still something he looked back on, still waiting for the day when he can finally break the boy to many pieces. He couldn’t help himself from licking his lips at the thought. Even the fight with Kastro so long ago was enjoyable. Seeing the despair cloud in the blond’s eyes. Compared to that, there was nobody worth a second glance on the 200th floor, and with 7 wins, 0 losses under his belt, he couldn’t help but long for someone a little more interesting.

Well... there was one person he was keeping his eye on, simply because they annoyed him to no end. She called herself ‘Ax’ although he doubted that was her real name. She wore a black trench coat that flowed to her knees with the billowing layers of fabric. He could only assume black training gear hid underneath although he wouldn’t know for sure. She didn’t take the fights seriously enough to even take her coat off. Her hair was loose and usually messy. Her eyes were hollow-like, almost devoid of light which intrigued him more than anything. What intrigues him almost as much was the black scarf tied around her face, covering her nose and mouth, leaving almost too much to the imagination. 

She seemed pretty normal to be honest, nothing that would irritate him otherwise. But it was the way she fought that made him clench his fists as he watched. She stood still the entire match, letting her opponents fall to their knees in mercy before they were knocked unconscious. The whole time she would just look at her opponents as if she was seeing right through them. With 5 wins and 0 losses, still no one knew of her power. No one saw her lash out or go crazy. Outside of the fights, others would describe her as kinder than expected yet just as blunt. A facade that held an all-consuming darkness behind it. That’s what pissed Hisoka off. He couldn’t read her. She was such a damn tease. 

He wanted to see the bloodlust shine beyond the indifference. He wanted to see it burst out and consume her. He wanted to see her hollow dark eyes become red with rage. God, just the thought of it made goosebumps rise on his pale skin.

Hisoka found his thoughts drifting to Ax quite often these days. His craving to see her break was becoming unbearable if he was being honest. That’s why even as Machi stood before him, using her ability to stitch his decapitated hand back onto his body, he still thought of Ax. He hadn’t wanted to see Machi when he was so consumed in himself but the fight he had today was so boring that he couldn’t help but spice it up by amputating his own hand and then reattaching it as a ‘magic trick’. Even the reaction of the crowd didn’t ease his mood. Unfortunately, the ref ended the fight quickly so Hisoka didn’t have the chance to kill the man who wore a delicious horrified expression. Unfortunate, indeed.

“Hisoka!” Machi said loudly, finally pulling him out of his trance. She finished stitching him up and stood before him, holding out her hand out to collect the payment he had promised.

“Hmm?” He hummed teasingly. Machi just rolled her eyes before speaking once again.

“What has you so distracted? You’re wasting my time.” He simply hummed again at her words, ignoring her hand still waiting for the money she was promised .

“Do you know anyone by the name of Ax? Or heard of her before?” Hisoka asked. Machi sighed and crossed her arms, obviously annoyed.

“You mean the girl in Heaven’s Arena right now? I’ve never heard of her before but she’s quite popular with the locals. They say she refuses to use her true ability because it would mean genocide of anyone within the vicinity of her.”

“Is that so? I’m sure I could’ve figured that out by myself. I thought you might give me more useful information, Machi. I’m disappointed.”

“I don’t owe you anything, ever, Hisoka. If you’re that curious though, I’ve also heard the scarf she wears symbolizes the tribe she’s a part of.”

“What’s this tribe called?”

“Now that I’m sure you can find out on your own.” Machi teased before bending down to reach into the pocket of Hisoka’s pants only to pull out the money she was owed which was long overdue. Hisoka simply chuckled at the action.

“Care to join me for a nightcap?” He asked. Machi simply opened the door and left without another word, leaving Hisoka alone.

Soon, his clothes were left on the floor as he stepped into the steaming water of the shower. As the droplets fell down his back, causing his hair to fall down his neck, he hummed to himself. _This craving is too much_ , he reasoned, _it’s unhealthy_. Perhaps he would do something about this attraction, to close the gap between him and this mysterious girl. Perhaps his curiosity will be the death of him.

_ Genocide _ , Machi had said.

Hisoka merely smiled at the thought.


	3. A Fated Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka takes his growing obsession with this girl named 'Ax' even further by watching her fight in Heaven's Arena. Here, he begins uncovering her secrets, each one causing more questions to arise. When they finally meet, the energy is as unsettling as it is electric.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hisoka and the reader finally meet!! and we finally get to see some of what the reader is hiding as well, there is much to still be discovered there. also, ps. cyrus is just made up and he's not at all important to the story, I just needed an opponent for this chapter lol. sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes! anyway, I hope you enjoy!! new chapters will be up soon.

Ax had to admit, the arena of the 200th floor was dazzling. Lights shone down, its heat radiating upwards so intensely she could feel it in her bones. Each seat was filled with a spectator cheering at the top of their lungs, the hope to see bloodshed hidden under their smiles. The energy of the room was as electric as it was overwhelming. Aura overlapped and twisted together making for a distracting cacophony. There was something- or someone odd sticking out. She felt a pointed gaze at her back, aura dripping from every pore of the person focused on her. She turned and looked up to the stands, but the faces were indiscernible under the lights. She only hoped the person watching had better intentions than what she suspected. 

Hisoka sat on the second level, the back row of the section all to himself. Any time someone came to the row, their ticket in their hands, eagerly awaiting the match; he would send a glance their way and they would turn and beg the usher to sit somewhere else. He wasn’t offended, besides this way he could truly focus on the one who calls herself ‘Ax’. She stood to the left of him, wearing the long black coat and scarf that had quickly become her trademark. Her eyes travelled to the crowd and for a moment she looked right at Hisoka before shaking her head vigorously. This intrigued him. Had she sensed him from that far away? He knew he had to contain the bloodlust leaking out, but the thought of breaking her was just too irresistible. He subconsciously groaned to himself from the anticipation of seeing her fight, beyond a screen.

Her opponent seemed to be drowning in bloodlust of his own. His aura was sloppily spilling out as did threats and taunts from his mouth. Ax stood still, just glaring at him with hollow eyes. Then the announcer finally began speaking.

“Welcome to today’s match on the 200th floor of Heaven’s Arena! Today‘s fight is between a showstopper thus far, Ax!” The crowd went wild. Each and every person was curious as to how she won her matches without moving an inch. “And our other fighter is new to the 200th floor, Cyrus.”

The applause died down slightly but people were just as excited to see what the newcomer would bring. Perhaps Cyrus would be the one to unlock Ax’s true fighting power? Hisoka doubted it. That was his job alone. 

Once the ref officially started the fight, Cyrus bolted out towards Ax, fist ready to connect with her face. She dodged easily and suddenly, Cyrus was thrown back to the starting point. He then began choking on air, grabbing at his throat. Hisoka hummed thoughtfully before using all his energy to use Gyo. He stared intently, focusing on Ax, and most importantly, Cyrus’ throat. 

Then he saw it. Just barely there, as if it’s a shadow. Two tendrils of aura spanned out from Ax’s body and wrapped around her opponent's throat. It was difficult to focus on, and anyone weaker than Hisoka would never be able to see the aura. The most unsettling fact was that her aura was tinted gray. Hisoka assumed in full effect, it would be pitch black. That fact made his stomach turn with excitement.

Cyrus fell to the ground, unconscious, winning Ax the match. She nodded at the ref in thanks before turning and walking away from the battle. Before she left the arena space entirely, she shot one last look in Hisoka’s direction.  _ So it wasn’t a mistake after all _ , Hisoka mused. Then he stood and walked out of the stadium as well, hoping that his lust would guide him to the one person who has been able to capture his attention this time around.

Night fell swiftly and the halls of the 200th floor were dimly lit with yellow lights that lined the walls. The velvet red carpeting looked divinely sinister contrasting against the walls leading to the rooms of those strong enough to earn their place here. Ax walked down the hallway, excited to simply go to her room and sleep until she was tired of sleeping itself. The scarf still wrapped around her face was suffocating and the thought of taking it off was euphoric. The fight today was disappointing. Looking back on it, she couldn’t help but be disappointed in herself. She used more of her Nen ability than she wanted to. Any more than the ghostly structures of it, she would’ve fallen over the edge. It was quite taxing suppressing her aura every minute of every day, and as of right now, she was exhausted. The only time she could let it flow was when she was alone.

So, she walked down the hall sluggishly, refraining from holding onto the wall for support. If someone was watching or waiting for her, she wouldn’t want them to see her in such a weak state. She would be able to regain energy once she was able to be alone. If only she could make it there. The hall seemed endless as she counted down the rooms longing for hers. Even worse, she could sense a presence awaiting her.

Sure enough, outside of her room, leaning against the door was a tall man with more than questionable looks. His hair was a fiery red, face paint adorned his cheeks, and his clothing outlined his waist dramatically. He stared at her as she walked towards him with a small smirk on his face. It sent shivers down her spine. This was the source of the strong bloodlust she felt during the match earlier. This man wanted to kill her.

“Can I help you?” She asked confidently, trying not to show the uneasiness that flooded her. 

“I suppose you can,” the man said, standing up straight, “I want to fight you.” The words shocked her, most people nowadays steered clear of her.

“Me? Why?”

“Hmm,” he thought for a moment before continuing, “you are much stronger than you appear. That… excites me.”

“And that’s the only reason?” She asked skeptically. If  _ they _ had found her and was using this guy to take revenge… then she would have to leave immediately.

“Yes, that I can promise you.” Despite his dark aura, she sensed the words were genuine.

“Sure. We can fight.” He smiled at her words.

“Before then, tell me your name,” he murmured. Her name? Her name was everywhere throughout the arena.

“It’s Ax.” Hisoka merely shook his head at the response.

“Your  _ real _ name,” he emphasized which shocked her. How did he know? She crossed her arms and stared at him in defiance.

“If you’re going to ask me idiotic questions like that then I won’t fight you.”

The man shrugged before walking past Ax, his dark aura following him. Before he could get too far away, leaving her alone and perplexed, he spoke once more.

“I’m Hisoka by the way.”

Hisoka. Huh. The name was new to her but she was sure if she had paid more attention throughout her stay here, that Hisoka was the only name anyone had in their minds. His aura and demeanor was proof of that alone. He was as terrifying as he was interesting.


	4. Boiling Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka and Ax finally fight. He's just as infuriating as she is annoyed. With emotions on the rise, and Ax reaching her limit, there may be a far more sinister outcome than either of them was expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii, I hope you enjoy this chapter! it was both fun and challenging to write, I'm not the best at describing action but I hope it's concise enough. also, the reader's ability is finally revealed!! I think it's pretty cool lmao. there will be more interactions with hisoka in the next couple of chapters for sure. thanks for reading thus far! (ps excuse andy spelling/grammar mistakes).

Ax’s hands shook as she paced in the hall, waiting for the match to begin. Anxiety wasn’t usually a feeling she let fester, but there was something about this man named Hisoka that warranted it. After his request to fight her, she did a bunch of research on him. She knew he considered himself a magician. She knew he became a pro hunter with ease. She knew he was number four of the Phantom Troupe. But most of all, she knew he never hesitated to kill. That fact alone sent shivers down her spine. It’s not like Ax hadn’t killed in the past. She wasn’t a stranger to the feeling of someone else’s blood on her skin. But she always hesitated to take the light from someone’s eyes. How someone couldn't be affected by that was perplexing. An attendant calling her name woke her from the spiralling thoughts. She pushed her shoulders back, held her head up high, and walked into the arena.

The lights were just as blinding as usual, and she could barely hear the announcer calling her name over the cheers from the crowd. Hisoka already stood relishing in the attention across from where she stood. He looked at her hungrily and licked his lips once he saw the reluctant excitement which had appeared in her eyes.  _ If I can beat him, then no one will be able to stand in my way again _ , she thought. The referee started the fight and Ax’s determination only sweltered.

“Let’s make this interesting,” Hisoka said, smirking. Ax was taken aback, he wanted to talk? During a fight?

“What?” She asked bluntly.

“If I win, you have to tell me your name, where you come from, and what you’re doing here,” he mused as he pulled a deck of cards from his pocket.

“So basically you want to know my life story?” He nodded in agreement, “Fine. If I win, you have to do the same.” Honestly, she didn’t want anything from him and she didn’t know what to ask for, so she settled on this. It worried her though, him wanting to know about her, but she decided it wasn’t that big of a deal anyway. She wouldn’t lose.

Ax stood as she always did during the matches. Hands tucked into her pockets, facing her opponent, waiting for them to move, all while the crowd was practically on the edges of their seats, waiting for her to take the win. But with Hisoka, her guard was up much higher than usual.

Suddenly, he sent cards as sharp as knives her way. She dodged them with little difficulty and began to release some of her aura. The grey smoke spanning out from her body, the most she has used to this date. Hisoka suddenly disappeared and before she could react he chopped her in the back of the neck. If she had not had her nen defending her, she would’ve been knocked unconscious, instead she fell to the ground and rolled away to the other side of the arena. 2 points to Hisoka already. 

Then he was gone again, and before he could hit her from behind, she let more of her aura through, the smoke taking shape as two black snakes spanning from her neck. The change of atmosphere was staggering. And Hisoka couldn’t help but be surprised at the reveal of her sinister aura. The utter strength of it.

_ Genocide _ , he remembers. He assumed this wasn’t even a quarter of her power. Before he could react, one of the snakes wrapped around Hisokas torso, sending him flying away from her. Then they struck again, hitting him square in the face, cutting his lip in the process. 4 points Ax.

“My, my, you’re a lot more than I bargained for. I wonder who I should thank for training you so well,” He chuckled as he wiped the blood away. She simply smirked at him, allowing even more of her aura show. She had to admit, it felt damn good not having to suppress it as she always did. She fed into it, approaching closer and closer to the edge. Feeding into the anger and bloodlust that she hid every minute of every day. The hollow look in her eyes was replaced with something even more sinister. Even the spectators could feel her power fill the room, it was suffocating. Getting lost in the power, Ax didn’t notice the floor tile that had been lifted by some unknown force coming her way. It hit her body and she was thrown to the ground. She felt blood running down her face. She used her two nen snakes to take most of the damage though. 5 points Hisoka. That’s when she used Gyo and noticed the pink aura spanning from Hisokas fingers. 

“Bungee gum,” He started, “has the properties of both rubber and gum. And my dear, it seems you’re stuck in my trap.” A strand of bungee gum was attached to the front of her coat, and she was quickly being drawn towards him despite her protests. The teeth of her snakes sunk into the ground behind her. But that didn’t matter. Hisoka was face to face with her now, his breath mingling with hers. Then he began a sequence of punches. One after the other, so fast she could barely think. The only thing keeping her standing was the support of her snakes still in the ground. The assault stopped and Hisoka stepped back proudly, admiring the wounds he inflicted on her. 9 points Hisoka.

Ax clenched her fists in anger, the ref is trying to rush the match. Otherwise, the back and forth would go on forever. Before Hisoka could pull Ax back to him with his ability, she threw her coat off sending it flying along with the strand of bungee gum, revealing the tight black clothes she wore underneath.

“And you were hiding this from me this whole time. Disappointing.” He murmured, laughing to himself while looking her up and down.

“Hey! This is a fight, not a chance to flirt with me, you asshole. Take this seriously.” 

“I assure you I am.” He said, rushing towards her again. She ran parallel to him and as she passed, she tackled him to the ground. She willed her snakes to wrap around his body tighter and tighter, but before the teeth of them could sink into his neck she was pushed off of him.. The snakes released and Hisoka was left coughing and gasping for air. Damn right, she thought. 6 points Ax. Still not enough.

As she was distracted from the poor calls the ref was making Hisoka sent one last punch her way square in the jaw. Blood and spit from her mouth splattered across the floor and the pure force of it caused her to fall off balance, landing on her knees. 10 points Hisoka. He shrugged as if to say,  _ you knew this would be the outcome _ .

Her eyes blazed with anger. God this guy annoyed her. He stood triumphantly over her and before she could let any more of her aura consume her- before she gave into the bloodlust, killing both Hisoka and the ref, she took a deep breath, stood, and began walking away. 

“Remember our deal!” He called after her, teasingly. She didn’t acknowledge the words. Only hoping to find somewhere to calm down. If she responded to him now, she wouldn’t be able to hold back anymore. The black aura and snakes surrounding her slowly faded away into an everlasting grey.


	5. The Beginning of the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ax is left annoyed from her fight with Hisoka and chooses to drown her sorrows with alcohol. Meanwhile, Hisoka is eager to get his reward for winning the fight, wanting to know the mysterious girl's past and why she's in Heaven's Arena in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is mainly just the reader's backstory, I hope it all makes sense! the next chapter will be much more exciting ;)) wink wink so stay tuned for that. hope you enjoy! (sidenote: I'm debating whether or not to refer to the reader as (y/n) or ax from this point so let me know if you have an opinion on that). thanks for reading!

The tavern was small and cozy, a wood fireplace and candles lined the walls. Ax sat in a booth alone, scarf uncharacteristically around her neck so she had access to the many alcoholic beverages that sat before her. The liquor burned as it slid down her throat, but the numbness it gifted her was worth it. The bar was empty except for a select few, laughing and drinking together. She longed for companionship such as that. Someone to call when she was in trouble, or just needed to talk to. Her mind then drifted back to Hisoka, the magician. She doubted that he could ever be such a person regardless of his interest in her. She suspected it was much more sinister than just seeking friendship. Speak of the devil. She noticed him walk into the room as his gaze immediately fell on her. That small smile present on his face. He walked over to her nonchalantly and sat down across from her. He was silent as he took a mug of beer and brought it to his lips.

“I was going to drink that you know.” She scowled at the unwelcome guest but he just took another sip.

“I think you’ve had enough,”

“Fuck off,” She grumbled, downing another shot.

“Here I thought you were the strong and stoic type,”

“Goes to show you don’t know the first thing about me, Hisoka,” She said his name with malice, the syllables annoying her as they flowed off her tongue. He simply smirked, as if enjoying her distaste for him. 

“That’s exactly why I’m here. To collect my reward for winning.”

“You know the ref was biased. I wouldn’t exactly call that a win.”

“He was worried about you.”

“Bullshit. Hate to break it to you, Hisoka, but you’re not all-powerful. Someday someone is gonna knock you off of that high horse!” She exclaimed, stealing the mug of beer back from him, guzzling it down trying not to cringe at the taste. 

“And that person will be you?” He felt himself becoming excited at the thought.

“No. I have no motivation for that. There are other things I need to worry about.” He looked at her suspiciously, wanting to know what these other things were. He remained silent, causing Ax to sigh. “Fine. Let’s get this over with. What do you want to know?” Then she remembered what he said during the match. The whole life story. “Okay… where do you want me to start?”

“What’s your real name?” He asked as he set her chin on hands, looking at her expectantly.

“(y/n).” She mumbled, embarrassed, it had been over a decade since she last used that name. Hisoka hummed.

“Good, good. Ax doesn’t suit you… neither does that scarf. You’re much too beautiful to be wearing such a thing.” She blushed at the compliment and rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. She mumbled thanks before Hisoka continued. “Now start at the very beginning, my dear.”

The uneasiness started to melt away as he looked at her… he seemed genuinely curious. No source of mockery behind the request. But she couldn’t help the voice in the back of her head saying that this would stab her in the back one day. They had a deal though. So she began telling him of her life in the humble mining town with her father who was never home and her brother who was the light of her life. She told him of the raid and how the bandits took him away from her only for her to run after them.

“Bandits?” He interjected. She was annoyed by the interruption.

“At the time, that’s all the village knew them as. Now I know them as the Seven Seas. It’s a tribe comprised of seven groups that target small towns with no defenses and take advantage. The one that attacked my village was the Pacific group- the largest. Now don’t interrupt. This is where it gets interesting.”

  
  


\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Years ago....

Finally, after running through the streets and the seemingly endless forest, (y/n) saw the men who had broken into their house and stolen her brother. The little boy was on the back of the one man, his eyes closed, tired from screaming and fighting. She ran as quietly as she could before charging at the man. Her little fists dug into his rock-hard back and she was soon grabbing at her brother, trying to pull the little boy away. The man turned in surprise and glanced at his partner before looking back down at (y/n), tears and blood mingling on her cheeks. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” He grumbled, signaling for his partner to continue walking, leaving him alone with the two children. 

“Give me my brother back! You have no right to take him!”

“And what will you do about it?” He asked crouching down to her level.

“I-I… will…” She trailed off unconfidently, the man chuckled and tore the scarf off his face. His features were much kinder than she expected.

“You’re awfully brave, but without the intelligence to back it up you’ll get nowhere in life.” She simply looked at him in confusion. “You want your brother back?” She nodded. “And what kind of life can you give him?”

“One with me. His family. Where I-I’ll love him and take care of him no matter what.”

“That’s awfully selfish of you. Perhaps your brother doesn’t want a life with you. A life in a poor mining village where he’s bound to die of disease before he’s able to find a wife. Where he’ll be weak and be worked to the bone. Where he’ll watch you die first, leaving him alone.”

“No, that’s not true. We’re going to become strong and move to a big city and be happy!” She yelled in defiance, tears once again welling in her eyes. The man simply analyzed her.

“What’s your name?”

“(y/n),” She replied meekly. The man shook his head.

“How mediocre. From now on you’ll be named Axdis, after the God of Dawn,” She was perplexed as she looked into his eyes, the gaze slowly filling with darkness, “because from this day forward you will be trapped in the darkness of night actively trying to claw your way to morning, to enlightenment. And maybe if you’re lucky enough, one day you’ll find it.” The explanation was almost too much for (y/n) to comprehend. Axdis? From now on? Darkness? Enlightenment?

Before she could question him, the man pried her brother off his back and placed him on the ground in front of him. (y/n) began to smile, thinking the man had taken pity on her. That she would be able to take her brother back to the village, simply gifted with a new nickname. But that dream was just a dream. A dream that vanished as soon as the man pulled out a knife and slashed the little boy's throat, the blood immediately spilling from the wound. (y/n) began screaming at the top of her lungs, clinging to her brother, trying to scoop up the blood escaping from his little body. Trying to put him back together. The man just stood as horror washed over the little girl.

“Ax, my name is Thaddeus. Today you are a part of the Seven Seas Tribe. Today you have become something more than yourself. Now get up and get yourself together, no student of mine has emotions such as love that only serves its purpose as a weakness.” And with that, Thaddeus began walking away, leaving Axdis soaked in blood, standing over her dead brother's body. Her feet began moving forward, and not once did she look back.

  
  


\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Present Day...

“From then on, Thaddeus trained me and I became as strong as I am today. But he was wrong about one thing. Love isn’t a weakness, it’s strength. The only reason I’ve made it this far was because of my brother. Because of the love I refuse to let go of for him,”

“Must have been one hell of a teacher, you have an amazingly formidable aura,”

“He may have been a good teacher skill-wise, but he was brutal as you can probably tell,” Hisoka hummed in agreement, placing another empty glass at the edge of the table, a collection of them forming. Ax was surprised at how easy it was to speak to Hisoka about all this. She assumed he would only ridicule her or laugh at the tragic parts, but instead he simply drank and listened. And perhaps that’s why it was so easy. She had never had someone listen to her before.

“Why do you suppress your aura so much?” he questioned. To Hisoka, it was annoyingly teasing.

“I don’t want to draw too much attention, I’m well aware it’s quite sinister. It’s all the bad feelings I’ve locked away for so long in physical form. And,” she paused, contemplating whether to tell him this next part. Screw it. “When I worked for the tribe, I was sent into villages to take the children in order to create strong warriors like myself, and kill anyone who got in the way. Hence the name Seven Seas- move like water, get in, get out. After a while, killing became routine but it always made me sick to my stomach. It was better to give into the bloodlust and let it take control, which was fine for a while. It was simple to tell myself that others deserved to feel the pain from death that I did. But, the one night I remembered it was my brother’s birthday and it set me off. I killed everyone in the Pacific branch of the tribe. The leaders, m-my friends, god… the kids too.” She took a shaky breath before continuing, “that day I left, and promised to not lose control and use my aura to kill again. I wear this scarf to remember the comrades I killed, and to avoid suspicion from any other Seven Seas members looking for me.”

“And after all that… why Heaven’s Arena?”

“I need money. I want to take the hunter exam and then create some sort of defense force, protecting these small villages who have no one. Then maybe people will never have to go through what I went through… or what I put other people through. Anyway, I need money to kickstart all that.”

“That’s quite commendable,”

“Yeah right, I’m sure you probably think I should kill the rest of the Seven Seas and keep the money I’ve made to myself.”

“I don’t care what you do,” Hisoka shrugged. Ax huffed.  _ After all this, he’s still indifferent, _ she thought.

“Well, will you tell me your story now?”

“That wasn’t the deal.” 

“Oh come on! You got something better to do?” Ax questioned, annoyed.

“Yes, with you.”

“With me? Are you going to kill me Hisoka?”

“What fun would that be, we’re both not in the right state of mind.” He’s right, Hisoka wouldn’t enjoy her death when they were both tipsy. “I have something even better.”

And with that, Hisoka stood and began to walk out of the tavern. Ax downed one last shot before fixing the scarf around her face and following him, eager to see what a surprise from Hisoka would consist of.


	6. What Happens in the Dark of Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka has a surprise for (y/n) and it's far from what she was expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is pure smut!!!! if you don't like smut, feel free to skip this chapter it is not crucial to understanding this story this is just for my thirsty hisoka girlies :^). this is my first time writing smut and I'm kinda embarrassed but please enjoy nonetheless and excuse any grammar errors lmao. (also if hisoka feels ooc, don't worry he's still a sadistic bastard, he's just being nice now for a reason)
> 
> tw: rough sex, choking, spitting, swearing

Hisoka led and Ax followed… all the way to his hotel room on the 200th floor. Ax followed him silently the whole way, and frankly, the walk devoid of noise almost killed her. She longed to fill the silence but every time she brought forth a subject matter to discuss, Hisoka just hummed quietly and brushed it off. This psycho was really testing her nerves. Ax never enjoyed silence much. It reminded her of starry nights, picking out the constellations with her brother as they laid on the roof. It reminded her of dinner at home, her father stagnant with tired eyes sitting across from her. It reminded her of training with Thaddeus, him not allowing her to speak for days until she mastered new abilities. It reminded her of being alone. And she was always alone, so much so that she resented the feeling. 

Instead of speaking, she wrung her hands together and counted each step she took. When she got bored of that she looked around at the city. Glanced at the people who passed and wondered what their lives were like. Whether they’ve experienced pain. Whether they’re child had been stolen with her help. Luckily, the walk was quite short, but confusion only bubbled up as she stared at the door of Hisoka’s room.

“This is the surprise? I’m sure our rooms are identical…” She trailed off, crossing her arms in annoyance. Hisoka only chuckled.

“You disappoint me (y/n), I thought you’d be able to put two and two together.”

“Look, Hisoka, you’re wasting my time-” Before she could finish complaining, Hisoka grabbed her arms and pushed her forcefully, her back hitting the door. He leaned down slightly and met her gaze. His yellow eyes bloomed with intensity and she could feel his hands shaking as he held her in place. She blushed when she realized how close he was to her. 

“I want you, (y/n).” His voice was deep and sultry, and Ax had to admit, this was the last situation she ever thought of. She had to make sure of his intentions. 

“You want to… kill me?” She said slowly. Hisoka slammed her against the door and she winced slightly. He pulled the scarf off of her face and tucked it into his back pocket, the fabric falling down his leg. His lips trailed against her jaw and he groaned.

“I want to fuck you.”

Ax was at a loss for words, but Hisoka didn’t give her any room to react. He crashed his lips onto hers roughly. They were softer than expected but just as forceful. She couldn’t help but kiss him back. A struggle for dominance was one she willingly lost as his tongue entered her mouth and tangled with hers. She let out a small whimper despite herself. As soon as that noise was made, Hisoka pulled away, a string of saliva still connecting their mouths. 

“You’re blushing, my dear…” He dragged a fingernail against her cheek. “Tell me, when’s the last time you let someone fuck you.” 

The question caught her off guard. The memory had been shut out from her mind. She decided not to think about it too much.

“It’s uh, been a while.” She mumbled softly, beet red as she could feel his hands running up and down her sides over the material of her thick coat.

“I can take care of you, if you want,” Hisoka replied, matching her quietness, squeezing the dip of her waist. The touch was filled with promises. Ax thought about it for a moment, biting her bottom lip. She knew three things in this moment.

  1. Hisoka was a psychotic killer.
  2. She is very lonely and he did have the class to listen to her babble on in the tavern while tipsy out of her mind.
  3. She could already feel arousal in the pit of her stomach and it would be very hard to walk away from this.



Maybe it was the fact that she was tipsy, the alcohol affecting her judgment. Maybe it was the way he didn’t judge her when she admitted to massacring her people. Maybe she thought that a psychotic killer wasn’t all he was. Maybe because he could help her forget the darkness she carries for a bit. But mostly, she just liked the way his lips felt against hers. That's why she shyly demanded,

“Please.”

That was all Hisoka needed to open the door, pushing Ax inside, and immediately latching his lips on hers again. The kiss was sloppy, saliva mixing and whines and groans surfacing between desperate pants. Clothes were shed as the two made their way over to the bed. Standing in only her bra and panties, Ax couldn’t help but feel exposed. Before she could cross her arms across her stomach, Hisoka grabbed her waist and pulled him to her, smirking slightly, his hardness present as he stood only in a pair of boxers. This is when she looked at him. Really looked at him. The sharp edges and curves of his face. His hair which now was messy and falling from its usual shape from their venture. She reached up and ran her hand through his hair, tugging on it, eliciting a groan from Hisoka. She positioned it so it fell around his face and neck.

“You should wear your hair like this more often,” She smiled triumphantly. He was really hot.

“Only special people have access to seeing me so disheveled.” He smirked as one of the hands that grabbed her waist began moving down her stomach to rest between her thighs. She felt his fingers poking and prodding at her arousal and she grabbed onto his shoulders. 

“So wet already, I haven’t even done anything yet.” He smirked, rubbing his fingers back and forth, finding her clit easily. She moaned at the touch.

“Then do something.” He raised an eyebrow. She sighed before giving in, knowing what he wanted to hear, “Please, Hisoka.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely.” Hisoka pushed her down onto the bed and she quickly moved up to rest against the pillows. He then removed her bra and groaned at the sight. Without comment, he remained atop her as he kissed down her jaw and chest leaving hickies and bite marks. He teased her nipples causing her to moan before moving down her body, grabbing her underwear with his teeth and pulling it down her legs. He was absolutely feral, pupils blown out in lust. Feeding off her whines. He grabbed onto her inner thighs and spread them open. Ax whined at the cool air hitting her sex and tried to close her legs.

“Don’t resist, (y/n), only good girls get rewards.”

“Please Hisoka, I don’t need that, j-just fuck me already.” Her voice was desperate and raspy.

“Shut up.” He stated bitterly. His gaze causing goosebumps to rise on her skin as he gripped her thighs roughly, placing them over his shoulders. That action alone caused her to whimper but her eyes almost rolled into the back of her head when he spit on her clit, the wetness mixing with hers. “The one time I try to do something nice for someone, they refuse it. And you wonder why I have a bad rep?”

“Please, just do something. I can’t take this anymore.” She was practically on the verge of tears, hating the teasing and longing for release.

“Fine. I’ll give the whiny slut what she wants.” In one fluid motion, Hisoka removed the last piece of his clothing and before she could take a look, he thrust inside her roughly. The pure force of it shook her, and the stretch from his length and thickness caused tears to fall down her cheeks. Hisoka merely licked them away and set an unforgiving pace, dragging his member against her walls relentlessly.

“Fuck, ah, that feels so good,” She panted, moaning with each hit against her sweet spot as he continued burying himself in her.

“You’re pretty tight for such a slut,” Hisoka panted as he buried his face in her neck, biting harshly. His thrusts sped up with desperation and soon one of his hands wrapped around her throat, blocking her airflow slightly. The tightness growing in her stomach was getting unbearable. The feeling of him proving to be too much. 

“Hisoka, please let me cum. Please, please, I need to. You feel so good.”

“Ok pretty girl, you can cum.” He moved a hand between her legs and rubbed her clit as he fucked her through her high. The force of her orgasm caused her legs to shake. The noises falling from her lips were absolutely sinful. Hisoka could feel himself approaching his high. He licked the side of her face before asking, “Where do you want me to come baby?” She could barely comprehend the question but answered anyway.

“On my stomach.” So, he pulled out and finished on her stomach, the white liquid coating her soft skin. He came with a groan and fell to lay beside her, that everlasting smirk present on his face. Ax struggled to keep her eyes open but decided she wanted to clean herself up before she became an even stickier mess. Once she decided to open her eyes and get up to go to the washroom, Hisoka was already beside her, adorned in a pair of black sweatpants, a wet washcloth in hand.

He wordlessly began cleaning her stomach and between her thighs, a great contrast to the cruelness he had during their previous interaction. She sat up once he finished and brought her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. Then she noticed the pink shirt and pair of underwear that sat in a pile beside Hisoka.

“Are those mine…?” She asked suspiciously, raising an eyebrow in his direction.

“You practically passed out once you came. I figured you’d want some new clothes.”

“How’d you get into my hotel room?” Hisoka pulled a card out of thin air and winked. Ax couldn’t help but smile. God, she was acting like a teenage schoolgirl. She unwrapped herself and allowed Hisoka to help her into the clothes.

“Why are you doing this?” She couldn’t help but ask. The washcloth, the clothes, it wasn’t what she expected by far.

“What, I can’t be nice to you? I told you I’d take care of you, (y/n), and now you’re surprised I’m doing so. It doesn’t make sense.” He was right, she thought. Hisoka was a lot of things, but so far it seemed like he stuck to his word.

“Can I sleep here?” The question was small and quiet. Ax looked into Hisoka’s eyes expectantly. Her eyes soft and glossy. She didn’t want to offend him any more than she already did, she didn’t want to make another remark that would only add to the heavy darkness he hides. His eyes seemed to be just as soft, if only for a moment before the mask went up again.

“Sure. On one condition: we have a rematch.” He replied, smiling happily at the deal he created. Ax nodded not caring if he meant a fight or another hookup and got under the covers, falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. 

  
Honestly, Hisoka didn’t know why he would let her stay the night.  Maybe it was his need to secure another fight with her. Maybe it was the way her anger, pain and desperation reached out to him, begging for release. Or maybe... just maybe, he liked the way she looked at him. Like she could see right through him.


	7. Bittersweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Hisoka cutting all communication with (y/n), she seeks friendship with some newcomers to the 200th floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi all, I hope you enjoy this chapter, it was kinda difficult to put together tbh. it was fun writing the reader's interactions with someone other than Hisoka though hahaha. Leorio and Kurapika are the best boys, I love them. anyways, new chapters should be up soon! stay tuned an thanks for reading!

Weeks passed and the ‘rematches’ (as Hisoka likes to call hooking up) between Hisoka and Ax were frequent and fleeting. Each meeting left Ax breathless and wanting the constant state of pleasure she felt when she was with Hisoka. The panting, the moans, the burning in her body was addicting. He was addicting, which is what scared her most. She realized how much of an addiction it was when two weeks passed without hearing so much of a word from the magician. She couldn’t help but wonder if she did anything wrong. But she knew she was just getting too attached. She never expected anything more from him than sex. More than the sultry gazes and dirty words he’d send her way.

Now she just missed it. Missed him.

Which led her to this moment, cornering Hisoka in the hallway of the 200th floor. He looked just as deadly as ever. He crossed his arm as he leaned against the wall opposite the elevator. He avoided Ax’s gaze, instead closing his eyes and smiling softly. As Ax started talking to him about her concerns and stating her peace, Hisoka’s attention drifted to the four newcomers getting off the elevator. He couldn’t help but smile as Ax’s words fell flat against his ears.

“Look, if you didn’t want to see me anymore, I would rather you just tell me than leave me in the dark like this. I’ll stay out of your way from now on,” She sighed as she spoke before walking away angrily. Hisoka hummed softly, opening his eyes slightly, just to watch her go.

Ax didn’t notice the newcomers in the hall like Hisoka did, causing her to bump into someone harshly, sending a box of orange juice from the stranger’s hand onto the floor. She shook her head, shaking off the blind rage she felt towards Hisoka’s recent treatment of her and looked at who she bumped into. It was a child, who looked to be about 13 years old. Three onlookers watched the exchange. A boy with stark white hair and grimace, another older boy with blond hair and black eyes, and what looked to be a 30 year old man with glasses and a suit. 

“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going!” She said to the boy, smiling sheepishly. He simply looked up at her with an unbothered face.

“That’s okay! Hey! Do you know Hisoka?” The question caught her off guard, a blush blooming on her face, it was times like this she wished she still wore her black scarf.

“Um… I-” She stumbled on her words, not knowing how to put her relationship with the man into appropriate terms. The blond-haired boy looked at her suspiciously. “I, um, Hisoka and I fought here in the arena and I lost so I was just upset about that and was asking for a rematch.”

“Ohhhh, that makes sense! Don’t feel too bad about it, I fought Hisoka and lost too. I’m Gon, by the way.”  _ This kid, Gon, fought Hisoka? Impossible _ . “These are my friends Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio.” 

“You can call me Ax, it’s nice to meet you all. It’s not every day you meet someone as friendly as you, Gon.” The boy simply smiled at her words before delving into the story of how they made it to the 200th floor, the only one not participating in fights being Leorio. They were in Heaven’s Arena not only to get some money, but Killua had his sights on challenging a floor master. Ax was impressed by this, not believing at first that this kid could take on someone so powerful. But once Gon delved into their past adventures, it wasn’t impossible after all. And as it turns out, a lot of people had a history with a certain magician. The thought of him making her clench her fists.

“So, Ax,” Killua started, his voice mocking, “Have you won any fights on this floor yet?”

“So far I have eight wins and one loss,” She murmured, thinking it over. Whatever inferiority Killua wanted her to feel from his question was brushed away.

“And that loss was to Hisoka?” Kurapika questioned, ignoring the way her cheeks instinctively flared up at the mention of his name. Ax simply nodded, not wanting to reveal a deeper connection to Hisoka which they were already suspecting. 

“No sweat, kid! He’s a weird guy!” Leorio practically yelled while patting Ax on the back harsher than she assumed he intended. She couldn't help but laugh at his words. Leorio wasn’t wrong.

“Kid? How old are you to be calling me a kid?” She asked. Leorio brought his hands to his side and blushed.

“I’m only 19…” Ax’s eyes widened at the confession, “It’s just a nickname anyway!”

Ax smiled again and fell into easy conversation with who she hoped would be new companions of hers. Their ambition and humanity appealed to her. Gon with his endless optimism and excitement, Killua with his confidence and loyalty, Kurapika with the sad story he hides behind his delicate features, and Leorio who’s abrasive nature is justified with a heart of gold. 

Days passed and Ax remained with Gon and his friends, finding many similarities with Leorio. They fought and laughed and drank together, Kurapika bringing a balance to it all. She watched Killua, Gon and Kurapika fight in their matches, all while avoiding her own, letting the days pass aimlessly. Perhaps she had finally found a group of people who wouldn’t judge or be afraid of her. They all had their demons so maybe they would understand her past. But despite this, she was still so afraid to tell them her story, her real name, the people she’d killed. She wondered why telling Hisoka was so easy. It wasn’t because of the bet that got her into such a mess with him. Maybe she believed that he was similar to her. That nothing could scare him away.

After a relatively boring day, simply training in her room alone, she found herself sitting on the floor in Kurapika’s hotel room. Leorio and Kurapika sat next to her as they passed a bottle of some unknown liquor that burned her throat but made her warm. They faced the window, watching the lights of the city flicker and the shooting stars fall to the Earth. She made a wish on each one. Gon and Killua were off exploring the city, hopefully not getting into trouble and she couldn’t help but feel jealous of a childhood and a friendship she would never have. But she supposed Kurapika and Leorio felt the same, their stories already told and cataloged in the back of her mind. 

“So, Ax, are you gonna tell us about yourself or are you gonna keep up the mysterious girl act?” Leorio asked, swinging an arm around her shoulder, his breath smelling of alcohol. She pushed him away and he pulled his arm back, seemingly offended. Kurapika smiled fondly at their interaction.

“First of all, you get way too clingy when you’re drunk,” Leorio grumbled, knowing it was true, “Second of all, I haven’t told you not to remain mysterious, idiot, but to protect myself as well as you.” It was the truth. She had stopped wearing the trademark scarf of the Seven Seas (mainly because Hisoka still had it from the first night they were together) so now, she could be easily identifiable from other tribe members looking for vengeance.

“Oh come on! I want to know! It’s the least you can do since you’re drinking alcohol which  _ I _ bought with my hard-earned money.”

“It’s money Kurapika lent you in the first place, isn’t that right?” Ax smirked to Kurapika expecting him to help her out.

“I can’t get you out of this Ax, I’m curious too.”

“Damn,” She sighed and took another sip from the bottle. The two boys looking at her expectantly. “I’ll compromise. I’ll tell you my real name but that’s it for tonight.” Leorio smiled gleefully and wrapped Ax into a hug excitedly. She pushed him off playfully. He really was clingy when drunk.

“It’s (y/n).”

“(y/n). Do you have a last name?” Kurapika questioned.

“(l/n)” She smiled softly, the name reminding her of her father. “I haven't used that name in forever. The only one calling me by that name being Hiso-” She stopped talking but it was too late.

“Hisoka!?!” Leorio yelled, shocked and offended, he pouted, “Why did he know before us?”

“I fought him and we made a bet that whoever lost had to tell the other their life story. That’s how he knows. Then things got… complicated after that. But, don’t worry, I haven’t spoken to him since that day we first met.”

“Good. He’s a dangerous person,” Kurapika mused.

“And a weirdo,” Leorio added. Ax merely nodded, but an uneasy feeling rose. If they knew the truth would they say the same about her. After all was there really a difference between her and Hisoka? Can you compare killers like that? The rest of the night was spent drinking and talking but that uneasiness still remained. She left hours later, saying a quick goodbye to Kurapika and a very wasted Leorio who almost cried when she stated she was leaving to go to bed. She closed the door to their room and before making her way down the hallway, slammed into a tall figure. One she knew all too well. Hisoka caught her before she could fall backwards by her waist. She pushed him away and stood upright, avoiding looking him in the eye. He stood silent for too long but when she tried to walk past him to her room, he stopped her. It was at this point, she looked at him in the eye. Shivers ran down her spine. He looked furious.

“What do you want, Hisoka?” She asked, maintaining eye contact, not backing down.

“What are you doing out so late, little (y/n)? Troublesome things happen during the night,” His signature smirk was nowhere to be found, his face expressionless except for his eyes, blazing.

“I can take care of myself. Besides, why would you care? We haven’t spoken in weeks, you made it clear you want nothing to do with me anymore.”

“Aw, darling, have you missed me?” His arm snaked around her waist once again, pulling her towards him. She tried to push him away but his pure strength was limitless. “Obviously not though, spending your time with other men. In their hotel room no less. Were you wanting the three of you to have some fun? Them both using you like the slut you are?”

“They’re my friends, Hisoka. Something I assume you’d know nothing about. And… you can’t call me that anymore.” She said, breath shaky, blush taking over her face. His body against hers was too warm, too familiar. 

“Hmm, you only like to be called that when fucking, huh? Would you like those two to call you that? Would that make you needy? As needy as you are for me each and every time?” She shook her head vigorously but Hisoka only pulled her closer, his other hand wrapping around her throat, squeezing a little too hard for comfort, forcing her to look at him. “I suppose not, I think you’d only want to be used by someone who’s as fucked up as you right, (y/n)? They’re too good for you and you know that. I don’t mind though. I don’t want people touching what’s mine anyway.” He murmured as his grasp only tightened, causing tears to well in her eyes. They are too good for her. Better people than she would ever be. 

“Don’t cry dear (y/n), I can take care of you the way you need me to,” His breath fanned over her face, his lips close, his hand easing up on her throat. Despite the arousal growing in her stomach, Ax pushed Hisoka as hard as she could. He let go and looked at her, amused. 

“I don’t belong to you. And even if you think I do, you have to take better care of what’s yours. Leorio and Kurapika are good people and they make me feel like I can be good too. I don’t care if it’s all a lie. If you want to talk without threatening me, we can talk tomorrow. I’m too tired and tipsy to deal with your shit right now.” She stood her ground focusing on not letting her voice shake, before walking past him. Not noticing his gaze following her each step she took away from him. 


	8. Old Habits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After another win in Heaven's arena, (y/n)'s new friends insist on taking her out for a good time. Although as the night comes to an end, there may be one more reluctant surprise for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii, first of all, thanks so much for the feedback on the last chapter!! I hope you enjoy this one, I really enjoy writing the reader's interactions with Kurapika and Leorio. there's also smut in this chapter but it isn't as... graphic as the previous smutty scene lmao. it's less about the sex at this point and more about the emotions, y'know?? hope you enjoy it nonetheless!
> 
> ps. I'm hyped for the next chapter, stay tuned! and please excuse any spelling/grammar mistakes as always!

The next few days were spent by Leorio and Kurapika’s sides, watching Gon and Killua get into trouble, while actively avoiding Hisoka. He seemed to always be around, only meters away from her in a given moment, watching with a calculated gaze. Ax refused to look his way though, her aura simply reaching out to him every once and awhile. Searching, teasing, tracking. But now was not a time to think about him. She had to focus on the opponent before her. This would be her 10th fight amounting to 1 loss and hopefully after this, 9 wins. Money was a distant thought to Ax at this point, she only wanted to kill time while waiting for the Hunter Exam and to get stronger while it was possible. Plus, with new friends, she fed off the feeling of not being alone. Of having people beside her who wouldn’t judge. Bits and pieces of her story slowly eased out of her to her new companions and instead of judgment, there was simply understanding from Leorio and Kurapika. Hisoka was wrong. She was not as fucked up as him (or at least that’s what she tried to convince herself).

The match ended quickly as they always did. No opponent reached the level of difficulty of Hisoka. The man before her crumpled to the ground under the strength of her nen snakes wrapped around his neck. Another win. Ax could hear the crowd yelling in excitement, Leorio’s voice apparent over all of them. She simply smiled, which was a first, dazzling white as she waved up to where her friends sat and watched. Hisoka sat a few rows back, watching as well. His hands shook with need as he remembered her power and how it felt to be the victim of such a thing. It was even better than the sex. He wondered how euphoric it would be to see her spirit crushed, then the light draining from her eyes once again. He remembered the hollowness that was there when he first saw her. Lately, there’s been too much inspiration, too much fire within her. He needed to break her. Too soon, Ax left the stage, leaving Hisoka to focus on how empty it looked without her. 

Leorio, of course, insisted on getting celebratory drinks. Ax had come to the decision that living in the city, which was once her dream, was no good for her. She always drank too much. Ax chatted with Kurapika on the walk to the tavern, following Leorio who was yelling at Gon and Killua to not eat too much sugar, as the two boys stopped at each candy shop and ice cream stand they could see. Gon waved off Leorio’s warnings as he ran up to Ax, arm outstretched, holding an ice cream cone.

“Here! A gift for winning!” Gon said excitedly. Ax thanked him, taking the ice cream and licking it. The soft serve perfectly contrasted the humidity that lingered in the evening. 

“She shouldn’t get a gift just for winning, stupid,” Killua replied to Gon. Gon rolled his eyes and the two bantered back and forth. Kurapika and Ax watching fondly.

“So, (y/n), do you think you’ll want to become a floor master?” Kurapika asked, hands in his pockets. The breeze was warm and Ax was intent on not letting any ice cream go to waste, it already melting down her hands.

“Hmm, I don’t think so. Becoming a Hunter is my top priority right now,” She shrugged.

“Then… world domination?” The blond boy asked teasingly.

“Why of course. That’s the only natural next step.” Ax laughed as she replied. The tavern came into view and they were all excited at the sight of it, ready to enjoy the air conditioning. Leorio was yelling at someone on the phone at this point, his long legs creating a pace that was difficult to keep up with. Ax could hear bits and parts of his conversation. 

“Well tell Pariston I think he’s an idiot too!... No!... Yes!....” Etc, etc. The man could talk for hours. Gon and Killua had left the group a few minutes ago, simply saying that they’re going to visit an old teacher of theirs. 

“Hey, (y/n),” Kurapika began, grabbing Ax by the arm, stopping her from walking. He looked at her for a moment before stretching out his hand and wiping the side of her mouth. His finger was as soft and delicate as she expected. But his eyes are what made her shiver. His hand retreated, and he let go of her, continuing to walk again. “Sorry, you had ice cream on your face.”

“Oh,” She said looking at the ground, then at the forgotten cone still in her hand. She threw the rest of it in a garbage can they passed, not working up the courage to finish it with Kurapika watching her, not knowing why she was so worked up over a simple friendly gesture. “Thanks.”

Finally, they made it into the tavern and sat at a large booth. Ax sat beside Leorio and he immediately flagged the waiter down, ordering way too many drinks. The glasses were soon empty and the tavern was slowly filling with people getting off of work and needing a cold beer. Leorio told stories, half of which Ax assumed was fake. Kurapika drank in silence but contributed to the convo as needed. Soon, music was being played in the bar. The beat of it thumping and vibrating throughout the room. Leorio insisted on dancing. 

“Come on, (y/n)! Let loose a little!” He said, dragging her from where she sat. hands in hers, he began dancing atrociously. It looked as if he was possessed. 

“Leorio,” Ax began, tears in her eyes from laughing, “whoever told you you can dance, was a liar!”

“Hey, these are my best moves, just for you, (y/n).” Suddenly the song changed and he pulled her close from where their hands met. The two began slow dancing and although she still was in shock from his horrendous dancing, she couldn’t help but get flustered by his closeness. His tall, muscular frame was overpowering. She looked up at him and couldn’t help but appreciate his sharp features, his dazzling eyes hidden by his glasses.  _ What’s wrong with me? _ , she thought, not understanding why she’d be having such thoughts about someone who was just a friend. 

“Mind if I cut in?” A recognizable voice said and Leorio nodded, traipsing back to the table where the next round of drinks sat. Although Kurapika was shorter, he was just as strong, and Ax realized there was something incredibly handsome about his soft features. One of his arms was wrapped around her waist, the other holding her hand. The two remained silent letting the eye contact they held speak for itself, and soon the song came to end. More drinking and dancing ensued, and before Leorio could convince Ax to get up on the table and dance with him, Kurapika insisted on walking her back to her hotel room. If she could even walk properly, that is. 

Ax ended up on Kurapika’s back, arms wrapped around his neck as he made his way to the 200th floor of Heaven’s Arena. He held her coat which was long forgotten in one hand, and held her body in place with the other, all the while she muttered drunken thoughts in his ear. Too incomprehensible, as if she was dreaming. Once they made it to her room, she managed to open the door and he tucked her into the bed. Before he could walk away, she grabbed his hand and asked him a simple question. 

“Kurapika, do you think anyone will ever really love me?” He was taken aback by the words. Really love her? That was the question she decided to ask him. 

“Of course, (y/n), you’re very lovable.” He murmured, letting go of her hand, and leaving the room to let her sleep. 

Her sleep was short-lived though as she woke up to the lock clicking on the hotel room door. She opened her eyes significantly groggy and hungover. There, beside her bed, stood Hisoka. He simply looked down at her arms crossed, before deciding on sitting beside her, the mattress dipping under his weight. 

“Hisoka? What are you doing here? Where’s Kurapika?” 

“The chain user left a couple of hours ago. I’m here because you’ve been avoiding me lately, dear (y/n).”

“Of course I’m avoiding you, idiot.” She grumbled into the pillow.

“Why’s that?” He asked, his tone soft, a contrast to the last time they spoke. She lifted her head up and looked to where he sat. His hair fell down around his face and neck.  _ Not everyone gets to see me so disheveled _ , he had once said to her.

“Because I was embarrassed to see you.” He simply remained silent, always waiting for further explanation. “You hurt my feelings when you stopped wanting to see me, which is embarrassing. I never expected anything out of our… arrangement and yet I got so emotional about it. That’s why.” 

“Hmm, always so sensitive, (y/n).” He took the covers off of her, exposing the black training gear she still wore, he brought his hand up to her face and stroked her cheek softly, causing goosebumps to rise on her skin. “Both emotionally and physically it seems. Have you missed me?”

“I’m still upset with you, you know.” She murmured, not pushing his hands away as they ran up and down her body. 

“Because of what I did? Or what I said?” He asked, kissing her jaw and down her neck, hands trailing underneath her tank top. 

“Both.” He removed her shirt and continued to kiss down her body, leaving mark after mark, causing her to whine at the contact. She did miss him, which was the most pathetic thing. 

“Would it help if I said I’m sorry?” He removed the rest of his clothes as well as his own and slowly flipped her onto her stomach, back arching into the air for him. 

“No, I know you wouldn’t mean it,” She sighed. He teased her entrance with his fingers and smiled as he realized how desperate she was getting. “We shouldn’t do this, Hisoka, I-I don’t need you anymore. I have other people in my life now.”  _ I’m not alone anymore. _

“People you want to have sex with?” He mused, finally sheathing himself within her, causing a strangled cry to echo through the room. Kurapika? Leorio? Although tonight she had wondered if only for a brief moment, she knew the truth. No matter how much she tried to deny it, it was always Hisoka, no matter how many times she tried to find a way out. He set a detrimental pace, gripping her hips tightly as he slammed into her harshly.  _ Perhaps he missed me too. _ The conversation seized, only moans and the sound of skin meeting filling the silence, the two relishing in the feeling of each other. Once they both met their high and came crashing down, Hisoka pulled out and flipped Ax back over, placing the blanket on her once again. He got dressed and made his way to leave. 

“You can stay,” The words came out before she could stop them, Hisoka continued walking to the door. “I mean if you want to.”

“I don’t.” The words were a slap in the face.  _ Perhaps he didn’t miss me at all. _ “Don’t pout, little one, I have a surprise just for you. I’ll tell you the details tomorrow.” And with that he was gone, the door slamming deafeningly loud behind him. His scent still clung to her as she rolled onto the side, hugging the blankets as tightly as she could. 

She recalled her conversation with Kurapika, the pained expression in her voice, the tears in her eyes she chose to ignore, her hand gripping his painfully, his look of pity. She had meant to say, “Do you think  _ he _ will ever really love me?” But she didn’t ask that. Because she already knew the answer. 

_ No. _


	9. A Beautiful Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka has a gift for (y/n). Only a gift from a certain magician could be so sinister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii, this chapter, oh boy. it's kinda really dark. like a lot of psychological trauma and that so don't read if you're not comfortable with that kind of thing. but we finally get to see hisoka's true colours yikes! this was exciting to write though, I hope you enjoy it! excuse any grammar/spelling and feedback is appreciated as always!!

When Hisoka said he had a surprise for Ax, she didn’t expect to be summoned to the rooftop of an abandoned building at the crack of dawn. From the rooftop, the skyline of the city could be seen. The sharp edges of the buildings, the overwhelming presence of Heaven’s Arena towering over everything, people below walking home after a night of drinking. The sun was just rising, its light bleeding into the world. Ax had never felt so small before. It was far too early and she yawned into her hands as she waited for Hisoka to arrive. She decided to sit on the floor of the roof which was cold in the morning air, her hands settled in her pockets and she let her eyes slip closed. Between the drinking, dancing, and late-night rendezvous, she was beyond exhausted. 

Finally, she heard the door to the rooftop creak open with footsteps following soon after. She opened her eyes to see Hisoka, tall as ever, step into view. She stood immediately and crossed her arms, not allowing herself to become as vulnerable as she was just hours before with him. 

“This better be good,” She grumbled, scowling in his direction. He merely smiled.

“This is better than good, my dear. Not only is it a surprise, but it’s also a gift. Just for you,” His liquid honey voice contrasted against the comfortable silence of the morning which sent shivers down Ax’s spine.

“A gift, huh?”  _ Just for you, _ he had said. Maybe this was the true apology she sought after. The thing that would show her that maybe there was good in the magician, the good she had tried to see in him all along. 

“Yes, yes, I put a lot of effort into this. That’s why I was so distant for a while there, I didn’t want to accidentally ruin the surprise.”

“Really?” She asked, starting to smile shyly. Hisoka nodded as he walked over to her, grabbing her hands, holding them tenderly. 

“Really.” He leaned down and placed a sickly sweet kiss on her lips, then her cheeks, then her forehead. The caring action she had seeked all along.  _ Thank goodness, _ she thought,  _ he finally trusts me enough to show me his true self _ . It was too good to be true, she knew that, but people can be as surprising as they are complex. And this was the man who had eagerly listened to her story, taken care of her, and now, a gift.  _ Just for you. _ “Now close your eyes, (y/n), I’ll tell you when you can open them.” 

Her eyes closed without hesitation. In the darkness, which she had gotten used to, she heard scuffling in front of her, a few odd grunts and finally a thump on the tiles. Hisoka clapped his hands and allowed her to open her eyes. Before her, a man kneeled. His head was covered with a black bag, his hands were bloody and bound with rope. His shirt was soaked with either sweat or blood or both. His breaths were ragged, heavy pants, the sound causing nausea to form in Ax’s stomach. 

“Take the bag off,” Hisoka ordered, standing beside Ax, motioning for her to follow his direction. But she was paralyzed in fear.  _ This was the gift? _ She took a deep breath and her hands shook as she reached out and took off the bag. The man’s head came into view, a wound on his forehead spilling crimson red down his face. Ax gasped as she realized the man was wearing a black scarf tied around the lower half of his face.  _ The Seven Seas. _ Then she realized the familiarity of the man’s eyes, the calluses on his hands, the odd kindness about him which hid a lot more. Ax immediately let go of the bag and let it drop to the floor as she fell to her knees. 

“Take the scarf off,” Hisoka said once again, his voice making her jump. The tenderness was replaced with a coldness she had never witnessed from him. Not when they fought, not when they met in the hall, not after he rejected her just hours ago. Tears began running down her face as she pulled the mask off. 

“Thaddeus.” All she could say was his name. Her teacher, her brother’s killer, someone who should have been dead along with the rest of the tribe. Thaddeus just gazed at her brokenly, deciding not to speak. 

“Well, dear (y/n),” Hisoka started, leaning down to whisper in her ear, “this is the moment you’ve been waiting for. You can finally get your revenge, for real this time. You see, I got a tip from an acquaintance of mine that someone survived the genocide caused by you. I spent days tracking him down to bring him to you. Now go on, finish what you started.” Hisoka placed his hand on her shoulder in encouragement but she slapped it away harshly.

“I didn’t ask for this,” Her voice was meek and shaky despite her best efforts.

“But you need this.”

“No! That night is my biggest regret, I told you that! I don’t want to kill anymore!”

“You’re so good at it, though,” He chuckled, his sinister aura expanding, threatening. Ax shook her head before looking at Thaddeus once more. Perhaps she should want to kill him. To see the light drain out of his eyes just like her brother what seemed like an eternity ago. But only guilt filled her heart.

“I’m sorry,” She said, sobbing, as she bowed her head to the man before her, “I-I killed them all. I didn’t mean to, I was just so angry. At you. At them. At myself. I couldn’t control it. The kids, Thaddeus, I killed all the kids! Everyone! How am I supposed to live with myself?” 

“We all have to deal with the things we’ve done to survive. It’s how you grow from it that matters.” Her sobs only grew louder at his words. His voice. The one she grew to hate yet wanted to love. Love like she wanted to love a father. As his hands, still bound and bloody, reached out, and patted her head softly, Ax felt all the breath leave her body. The two stayed there, the only thing connecting them being his shaking hands on her bowed head. Hisoka was appalled by how the situation was unfolding and grasped Ax’s shoulders pulling her up onto her feet. Thaddeus’ hands fell to rest in front of him, tears freely flowing down his cheeks as well.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Hisoka murmured, grabbing Ax’s chin with his hand, his nails digging into her flesh. “It looks to me like you don’t appreciate your present.”

“Just let him go, Hisoka. We can all just let this go,” She pleaded, misty eyes gazing into his intense ones. 

“Let him go? So he can tell the rest of the Seven Seas your location, so they can enact their revenge? You really are a stupid little girl.” Hisoka spat angrily.

“Don’t act like this is about me!” She yelled pushing him off of her, letting the anger outweigh the sadness she felt. “This is you wanting to prove that I’m just like you! That I’m as messed up as you! That we’re two of a kind, huh? Well, we’re not.” She said desperately, trying to convince herself as well as the magician, “I’m not like you, Hisoka. I should’ve never gotten so-called revenge, but since I did, I have to seek closure. Growth. But you, I don’t know if you’ll ever stop running from the things that haunt you. While using those things to justify hurting people. I will never be like you.”

It was words she had longed to hear from others. From Leorio, Kurapika, Thaddeus, Hisoka himself even. Words that validated that even if she had done bad things, she could become better, overcoming the demons that followed her daily. But looking at the situation before her really put things into perspective. The puppy love she felt for Hisoka had blinded her. From the first night she told him her story. The time she asked to sleep in his bed. The time she chased after him for weeks as he avoided her. The time she let him use her only to be tossed aside. She had been so blind, allowing his words to fester in her mind. 

_ I can take care of you. Only special people get to see me disheveled. I want a rematch. Have you missed me? You only want to be used by someone as fucked up as you, right? Always so sensitive. So needy. You need me. Want me to say sorry? Just for you.  _

It was like a spell, a charade that all came crashing down the moment she saw Thaddeus before her. It was never love to him. It was a game. And she was a pawn. To be used. She had longed for so long for someone to see her for who she was. To love every part. She was a fool to think that could ever be the magician.

She stood in shock as the realizations washed over her. Hisoka hummed disapprovingly at her words. His expression was unchanging, but Ax could have sworn there was a hint of hurt on his face. She hoped so. That her words affected him. But maybe it was just her imagination willing such a thing into existence as it had been this whole time. Then, Hisoka’s last order was spoken.

“Kill him.” 

“No.” She said softly, her tears now dry on her face. Hisoka slapped her in the face and she could feel the skin tingling from the touch. Damn, that hurt like hell. She held her face as she looked at him angrily, but before she could speak again, Hisoka had already moved. A single card appeared in his hand and sliced across Thaddeus’ throat in milliseconds. 

“No!” She yelled as she watched the man fall on his face, blood slowly surrounding him in a sinister puddle. Hisoka brought the card to his lips and licked the liquid off. Ax’s stomach turned at the sight. 

“He was going to die anyway. You should be grateful I gave you the first chance.” Hisoka said flatly before walking away, and leaving the rooftop, leaving Ax still as a statue as tears fell down her face. She watched the puddle of blood grow, slowly making its way to soak her shoes red. 

Birds chirped above and the breeze smelled of the ocean and honeydew. The sun was strong and warm.

It was a beautiful morning.


	10. No Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (y/n) recovers from Hisoka's surprise. Then she gets an invitation to fight him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi all, hope you're doing well. writing this story was so much fun and I'm excited to put out the last 'real' chapter! The next will be a short epilogue. I hope this ending is okay, it's ambiguous because I'm debating writing a sequel lol once I feel inspired again. thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoy it. please excuse spelling/grammar mistakes and feedback is always appreciated!!

Days came and went in what seemed like a matter of minutes. The sunrise and sunsets seemed to merge and time was distorted, flowing like the speed of light. Ax spent all her time in her hotel room, nestled under the covers, hands never seeming to stop shaking. All the time spent burying her emotions was wasted. The dawn spent on that rooftop caused her world to come crashing down. But through grief, came enlightenment, that’s what she tried to believe. 

After Hisoka left her and the bleeding body of the man who raised her, Ax didn’t know who else to call, quickly finding Leorio’s contact. He was by her side, coaxing her away from where she stood in the puddle of blood, begging her to look at him, to say something. The words came rushing out some time later as he sat on the other side of the bathroom door while she bathed. The water was as warm and comforting as his presence. He listened intently as she explained the entire situation. He was patient as she muttered the words out through broken sobs, the sounds echoing off the walls. Then he tucked her into bed, said a few comforting words, and promised that Kurapika and him would keep an eye on Hisoka while she took time to recover emotionally. 

No one had ever cared as much as Leorio. She was a lucky girl in a couple of ways. 

A knock on the door pulled Ax from the continuous recollection. She yawned as she rolled out of bed, glancing at the clock. Five in the morning. How many days has it been? She looked through the peephole and sighed in relief to see it was just Kurapika. He entered the room swiftly, placing a hand on her shoulder in hello.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, voice soft and warm.

“Better. I’ve had a lot of time to think. Too much time maybe.” She mused, smiling sadly.

“Your deadline to fight is tomorrow.”

“I know. I think... it’s time for me to leave though.” Tears sprung to her eyes as she looked at the hurt understanding plastered on her friend's face. “The time I’ve had here with you, Leorio, Gon, and Killua was more than I could ever ask for.”

“It’s only natural to seek change, (y/n),” He sighed in frustration before continuing, “I wasn’t going to tell you this, but if I don’t I’m sure I’ll feel guilty. Someone has requested to fight you tomorrow.”

“Someone?” She asked, already speculating on who it would be. Her heart sank as Kurapika pulled a playing card from his pocket and handed it to her. It was the Joker card. Too familiar. On the back of the card the word  _ Rematch. _ was written in black ink. Was this the card he used to kill Thaddeus? Would this be the card he’d use to kill her? 

“You don’t have to fight him, you know. Knowing Hisoka there’s another game behind this. It might be better to leave while you can.” Kurapika’s gaze was honest and intense, saying  _ you don’t have to do this. _ But she did. 

“I’ll fight him. It’s time someone put him in his place.”

\-----------------------------------------------------

The arena was just like it always was. The screaming crowd. Bright lights. Concrete floor. The energy was different, anyone could tell. As Ax stood across from Hisoka on the stage, the air crackled and burned. The shift in the air had everyone on edge. Hisoka looked the same as always, a small sinister smile, hair blazing, outfit adorned with clubs and spades and hearts and diamonds. From the first moments she saw him to this moment, it looked as if not one thing changed about him. His amused gaze looking her up and down sent chills down her spine. Ax on the other hand, had obviously gone through changes. Her scarf was no longer hiding her face, Hisoka still keeping the item hostage. Her coat was discarded before the match, Leorio promising to hold onto it. Her hair was no longer down naturally, instead slicked up and out of her face. What seemed to be the most different were her eyes though. No longer hollow and bored, instead alight with anger and passion, trained on the magician before her. 

The announcer’s voice faded into the background as Ax focused on her breathing, remembering to maintain her aura. No matter how much her blood boiled, she didn’t want to fall over the edge. The countdown. Then the cue to start fighting came and went, and still she stood there, controlling her breathing, waiting for the first move. instead, it was words. 

“You seem awfully tense, (y/n), don’t tell me you’re still upset because you didn’t like your gift?” His voice flooded her senses for the first time since that moment. Her gaze flicked to him as she allowed more of her aura loose, the snakes starting to form in the air. Writhing, begging for something, someone to sink their fangs into. 

“Why did you want to fight again? Was this your plan all along? To bring me to this point only to make me lose control?” The words slipped out and Hisoka hummed. 

“Ever since I saw you, I knew I wanted to be the one to break you,” He murmured, suddenly behind her, breath against the side of her neck. She allowed him to speak before slamming her elbow into his face. A visible crack of his nose could be heard on contact. He moved across from her, blood running down. He smiled, the crimson red staining his teeth. 

“You’re a lot more feisty than the first time.” The ref awarded Ax a point and she rolled her eyes. He would be annoying. With a silent apology, she allowed one of the snakes to pick up the ref and slam him into a far wall. His body fell limp to the ground. Rather her than Hisoka getting rid of him. He would live. The crowd was getting restless, but the energy only fueled the fight.

“This is not just a win or lose situation is it?” She asked already knowing the answer. Hisoka wanted to fight her to kill her. That much was clear. 

“It will be difficult for you, my dear. According to you, you don’t kill anymore.” 

“I can make an exception,” She growled, more of her aura slipping out. Then the fight really began. Hisoka and Ax exchanged blow after blow. Punches, kicks, nen. It was desperate and endless. Minute after minute passed, neither backing down. 

Soon, Ax found her breaths coming out in short pants. Blood ran down her face and bruises were already starting to form. Although everything hurt, the one solace was Hisoka looked no better than she did. Her nen was becoming uncontrollable, and the nen snakes were losing form and accuracy. Before she had a moment to catch her breath, Hisoka tackled her to the ground, body crushing hers. She struggled against him, trying to push away but in that moment of weakness, he held her. She didn’t even have enough energy to summon her snakes to push him off. 

“Now (y/n), this is getting tedious. Don’t worry, this will end quickly. I’ll slit your throat. That would make you most comfortable, hmm?”

“Fuck. You.” The words were rough and raspy. Her brother. Thaddeus. A slit throat and a puddle of blood. Was she to join them?

“You already did. The whole situation was quite pathetic, hmm? All I had to do was show you kindness and you easily spread your legs for me. Slut.” The card around her throat dug in slightly, causing blood to surface. Her eyes teared up at his words out of anger and regret. 

“I may be pathetic but at least I don’t enjoy hurting other people.”

“But you once did. You would steal kids from their families only to grow into heartless monsters like  _ you and I.  _ Then on top of that, you killed them all. They never even had a chance. Doesn’t that haunt you at night? I wonder what your little brother would think of his big sister now? Dying like this. Amounting to absolutely nothing.” The words hurt more than the previous attacks. As much as she wanted to deny them, he was right. No matter how much she grew, the past would always follow her. Maybe it would be easier to die here. To succumb to karma. 

“No!” She yelled suddenly, shutting down the thoughts, tears falling down her cheeks unknowingly. She would not die like this. Not without atoning for what she's done. All the control over her aura was lost, and the sinister black energy was let free. Rising up, up into the air. The way it did so many years ago. If it could kill her entire tribe, it would be enough to kill Hisoka. As the aura released, she couldn’t help but be held under the pure unpredictability of it. 

Before she could see the fruition of her actions, the world turned darker than it already was as she fell unconscious. Hoping only light would meet her when she awakens

What met her when consciousness slowly returned was Leorio’s face blocking one of the stadium lights from view. His mouth was moving but no sound reached her ears. It was as if she was underwater, slowly scraping, trying to get to the surface. Her mind was fuzzy and her ears rang quietly, almost calming. Slowly, her body regained feeling and her mind cleared. 

“Leorio?” Ax murmured, her voice feeling foreign, as if it wasn’t really her speaking. 

“I’m here. Thank god you’re okay.” Sweat glistened on his brow as he let out a breath of relief. 

“W-what happened?” 

“Your aura started growing and becoming darker, then all of a sudden you passed out. At first, we thought Hisoka killed you but then you started convulsing. And then your aura started… well suffocating people.”

“Suffocating?” Ax groaned. This really was a repeat of the last time she lost control, “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted… Hisoka gone.”

“It’s okay. No one was really hurt, everyone was evacuated quickly,” He murmured while helping her sit up. She ignored the way her head rushed as he continued speaking, “It didn’t last long anyway. It was only until Hisoka finally got off of you.”

“Gon, Killua?”

“They’re fine. Quite impressed by you, to be honest.”

“Is Hisoka dead?” A small part of her heart dropped at the thought.

“No,” A voice from her left said, Kurapika was walking towards the two of them, hands in his pockets, hair disheveled. Ax could tell he looked stressed. “He’s on the second floor. Watching us.”

“Bastard!” Leorio shouted, “I’ll go finish him off myself!” He moved to stand but Ax placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping him. 

“When I lost control, I realized that was a very Hisoka thing to do. That’s what he’s wanted me to do all along. I don’t want to live only seeking revenge.” Leorio grumbled in protest. Kurapika held out his hands, and Ax grabbed onto them, pulling her to her feet. Her body ached in protest but she tried her best to shake it off. At this moment, she couldn’t be happier. She finally had friends. That fact alone might just outweigh all the trauma a certain magician caused. 

“Let’s get out of here!” Ax boasted, stretching her arms out, ignoring the heaviness in her heart.

“I agree with (y/n)! Drinks on me!” Leorio shouted, wrapping his lanky arms around Ax’s and Kurapika’s shoulders. 

“No!” She and Kurapika shouted in protest, laughter bubbling up and out of them as they walked away from the arena. 

Hisoka watched as they walked away. The smile he wore when he had the card against Ax’s throat hadn’t faded from then until this moment. He finally got to see her break, although she pulled herself together quite quickly to his distaste. Those friends of hers were quite a nuisance, ruining his satisfaction. He only got a taste of what he really wanted. 

  
_ Oh well _ , he thought, there are _ still many tricks up my sleeve. _


	11. Epilogue: Infinite Snakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (y/n) has always been one with the darkness. but she no longer lets that define her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just to wrap things up :) thanks for reading!

It was a beautiful morning. The sun shone brightly, the blue sky was deep with not a cloud to be seen, people were already awake bustling around the market. There was a chill in the air still, the summer breeze becoming frigid. The coat Ax wore kept her warm enough without overheating, and her loose hair was tossed by the wind, quickly becoming messy. She had a small backpack filled with her only belongings which signaled a long journey ahead. Before her stood her friends. The only friends she had in the world. The people who had grown to love her for all she is. 

“So, this is it, huh?” Leorio grumbled, hand rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly to distract from the tears forming in his eyes. 

“That’s a little cliche, isn’t it?” Kurapika said from beside him, poking the older boy with his elbow. 

“Very cliche.” Ax agreed, smiling at the four boys before her. 

“So, what are you going to do now?” Gon piped up, eyes questioning. Killua stood beside him, acting indifferent. But Ax knew better, the night before the white-haired boy had asked eagerly about her nen training and abilities. 

“Well, I guess I have to make my way to the Hunter Exam to get my license… I hope it goes well…” She thought aloud and Kurapika rolled his eyes. 

“After all that happened here, the Hunter Exam should be a piece of cake,” He said and Killua nodded slightly showing his support. Gon cheered in agreement.  _ After all that happened here.  _ Thinking about it made her brain hurt, so she quickly focused on the conversation, her friends.

“I guess you’re right,” Ax said before checking her watch, heart dropping as she realized the time, “My flight is soon. I guess this is where I leave you guys.” Her eyes teared up at the thought, neither sad nor happy, just bittersweet. 

“Yeah, I guess so,” Leorio said, looking away. Before he could realize, Ax stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. Her arms barely fitting around his body. His face turned bright red as he awkwardly patted her back. 

“Thank you,” She whispered into his chest, “for everything.” she stepped away from him, then hugging Kurapika, demanding him to answer his phone when she calls. Then to Killua and Gon, she wished happiness and strength, knowing that the two kids had more than enough skill and experience to take care of themselves. 

As she began walking away, her steps didn’t feel as heavy as they once did. They were light as a feather, knowing that no matter how far she travelled, there would be a home to return to, with them. She waved enthusiastically once she was far enough away. Her four friends waved back. 

“Let’s meet up once you’re done the exam!” Leorio yelled, cupping his hands to amplify the sound. She mirrored the action before speaking. 

“Okay!”

Finally, she made it onto the airship, traveling to the next Hunter Exam location. Anxiety filled her stomach mingling with the excitement already there. The air conditioning on the ship was cold so she placed her hands in her coat pockets to gain some warmth. Her heart dropped as she felt what was placed inside one of the pockets. She pulled out the item. 

It was her scarf that a certain magician whom she was trying to forget about took from her what seemed like an eternity ago. The black fabric was soft and familiar. Something symbolic of a past life. As she unfolded the scarf, she noticed a single playing card that was wrapped in the fabric. The Joker. How did he…? Ax shook her head ignoring the thoughts, ignoring the nausea that arose. Although she quickly found a trash can to dispose of the items once and for all, the sinking feeling didn’t fade away. 

Hisoka wasn’t done with her. The thought both scared her and hurt her heart. 

She didn’t let it get to her though. No matter what was to come, she finally had people on her side. Finally had the motivation and means to move forward and achieve her goals. To grow from her past and atone for her mistakes. 

And for now, that was more than enough.


End file.
